Friday, February 28, 2020

Sponsors Walk You Through the 12 Steps

recovery sponsor
If you have been in recovery for even a brief moment, then you may have heard the saying: "Stay in the middle of the herd, so you don't get picked off." This means attending 12-step meetings regularly will help you protect against relapse.

In sober living or transitional living homes like HAUS Recovery, our clients are instructed to attend 12 Step meetings on a regular basis. Each client also attends house meetings and weekly beach meetings (one of the benefits of being situated on the California coast).

The goal is simple. One must firmly establish him or herself in a recovery community following residential or outpatient treatment. We have written about the benefits of 90 meetings in 90 days in the past; hopefully, you read the post, especially if you are in early recovery.

“Meeting-makers make it” as the saying goes. If you attend mutual-help groups for addiction recovery, then you are acutely aware that healing depends on more than just meetings. You know that working the steps is instrumental to your ability to stay the course, and you cannot work the 12 Steps alone.

A sponsor is a man or woman who has worked all 12 Steps and is able to walk others through them as well. Such people usually have more than a year of sobriety, although 365 days sober is not a mandate. Each case is different. Either way, it's vital to make a connection with another individual in the program and allow them to walk you through the process.

One day, you will pay what you learn from your sponsor forward and become part of a decades-old chain of recovery. You cannot keep what you have unless you give it away.

Choosing the Right Sponsor in Recovery

Sponsors come in all shapes and sizes, and from a myriad of backgrounds. No two sponsors guide newcomers in the same way. Once you are out of treatment and hopefully residing in a structured sober living home, it's time to seek out an individual who can help you with step work.

It's alright to be discerning about who you choose to serve as your guide. After attending several meetings, you will have heard several people share. At least one individual's words likely resonated with you. Approach said member of the group and ask them if they are taking on new sponsees after the meeting comes to a close.

If they agree to take you on, then you are on your way to unlocking the secret to achieving long-term recovery. It's also possible that the person you ask to sponsor you already has too many people under their guidance; a sponsor needs to be able to provide each sponsee with the attention required. Taking on too many sponsees is a disservice to each individual. If that is the case, then please do not dismay or become discouraged. There is always another in the program that you can relate with, so ask them for guidance.

While there aren't strict guidelines for choosing a sponsor, there are few suggestions worth heeding. Search for an individual of the same sex; members of the opposite sex can be a distraction for people in early recovery. A sponsor's age, in relation to you, is not as important, but you may find it easier to talk to someone older, or maybe you will find it more comfortable working the steps with a contemporary.

Always look for the similarities and not the differences when choosing a sponsor. Some newcomers benefit from picking a sponsor who is nothing like themselves. Again, you have to decide what works best for you. What's more, choose one who you think can hold you accountable.

Attending meetings and working with a sponsor is the best way to stay in the middle and keep recovery a priority. In time, your sponsor will become more than just a guide; he or she will likely turn into both friend and trusted ally. Please also keep in mind that you are helping your sponsor stay sober by working the steps with them—nobody can keep what they have unless they give it away.

Southern California Structured Sober Living

Those who choose HAUS Recovery will receive guidance on sponsorship and how to work the steps effectively. Sober living is a protective coating for men and women in early recovery. If you or a loved one is about to be discharged from treatment, then we invite you to reach out to HAUS to learn more about our program.

We can significantly help you maintain your abstinence while you reside in the company of active, inspired, and grateful people. Our caring, supportive team is committed to aiding you in reaching your full potential.

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